


That One Regret Was Never You

by guixttrripping



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Angst, Blood, Death, F/M, M/M, Sarah is only mentioned, Vampire!Ryan Ross
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 21:14:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9345356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guixttrripping/pseuds/guixttrripping
Summary: Brendon once loved Ryan.Once.No… that was a lie. Brendon had always loved Ryan.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was based off Ryan's insta post (ya know the one where he's prolly drinking blood) and a dream I had shortly after seeing that.

Brendon once loved Ryan. 

Once. 

No… that was a lie. Brendon had always loved Ryan. 

Even after they broke up. Ryan had said that he just wasn't in love with Brendon anymore, and boy… did that shatter Brendon’s heart into a million shards. He didn't sleep well for months; always wondering what he had done wrong, what went wrong. Why Ryan no longer cared for Brendon. 

When Sarah came along, it felt that his broken heart had finally been patched up. That this never ending aching feeling had been given an antidote to its sadness. She didn't heal everything, however, and Sarah knew that; accepted it. Brendon had always felt sorry that the feeling of love wasn't as strong and emotional as it was with Ryan. Sarah knew what had happened, knew Ryan meant more. And yet, they were now married. And she still loved him no matter what.

But now, after so many years apart, Ryan was standing right in front of him. Brendon missed his messy dark hair, those bright brown eyes. He missed his smile most of all. But the Ryan in front of him, was not that Ryan. 

These eyes were void of all emotion. Of all recognition; and they were glowing red. His teeth were bared, lips curled ever so slightly into a snarl. His black shirt and jeans, leather jacket… they were just soaked in blood. 

So much blood.

There were bodies all around the two. Either dead or barely alive. Yet Brendon could get his eyes to focus on anyone except Ryan, who was his gaze fixed on him as well. In all honesty, Brendon feared that if he were to turn away for just a second, Ryan would disappear again. And maybe this Ryan wasn't his Ryan, but this was the only thing he's had for years now, and he wasn't going to let it slip away now. 

Monster. This is a monster. This is not Ryan.

Brendon listened to the little voice for only a second, before quickly ignoring it and staying perfectly still as he watched with wide eyes as Ryan took a step towards him. Brendon could feel his heartbeat pick up, and the way Ryan’s lips curled into a slow smile, he had too. 

“Ryan-” it was the only word Brendon could get out before he felt hands clamp around his neck, hoisting him into the air, choking for breath. 

Brendon made a fatal mistake in not running when he had the chance. He knew it now, but it was too late. Those piercing red eyes. Eyes of fire and death; they held no sign of his Ryan hidden away. He was gone. If only he had listened to him earlier. Now Brendon stared down at his former lover. He realized how pale his skin had become. So ghostly, like a corpse. 

“Ryan... please.” Brendon choked out. Pleading would do nothing, so why should he try? This was a monster. A creature of the night. Brendon mattered nothing to him. 

It was like the harsh reality of their breakup finally slamming into him. Just like this monster didn't care about Brendon’s life, Ryan didn't about his feelings. He used to tell himself that he really did care. That there was just something that pushed Ryan away, something Brendon had done. But now it was all clear to him. Ryan didn't care. Hadn't cared in a long while. 

“So pretty.” The monster spoke sinisterly. An evil grin plastered to its face. It knew what would melt his heart, and Brendon began to thrash to break free. He refused to die by this evil imitation. The thrashing only angered the monster, as his eyes darkened and his mouth snarled in frustration. Brendon slammed to the ground, no longer being choked, but the little air he had left was knocked right out of him as he stared back up at the other. 

Suddenly Ryan was down on top of Brendon, pressed close and pinning him to the hard cement ground. His hands ran up and down his sides, and all Brendon could do was lay still as the air slowly returned to his lungs. His mind was fuzzy, and it took him a few moments to register what was happening when he felt the other’s cold breath on his neck. It sent a chilling shiver down his spine as cold lips met his skin. 

It was a small peck. A kiss. It trailed from his jaw to his collarbone, and Brendon couldn't help but feel the awful ache of missing Ryan’s kissing. But this wasn't Ryan, and Brendon knew he had to get away. And the monster felt him begin to struggle, because he was pinning his arms to his sides and glaring down at him. 

Then… there was a flash of… something. It was in his eyes. Brown? A flash of recognition? Or was it his imagination. 

Well, he didn't care what it was. It was sign of hope. Maybe… maybe he was still in there. 

“Ryan, R-Ryan please!” Brendon desperately gasped out. 

Then it was there again. Brendon could clearly see that Ryan was beginning to recognize him, or at least come to his sense about what the fuck he was doing. Ryan’s hand slowly released the grip he had on Brendon’s arm, and delicate fingers began to ghost Brendon’s lips as they both stared back at each other. It was like the world stopped moving. 

“Brendon…” He whispered out, and Brendon’s eyes fluttered shut as a tear escaped down his cheek. It was Ryan. His Ryan. He was going to be okay. They were going to be okay. 

Brendon let his free hand wander to the back of Ryan’s neck, let his fingers twirl through some of the loose strands of dark hair. His eyes were still closed, he was still silently crying with relief when he felt Ryan kiss him. It was gentle, and it was soft. Brendon couldn't have asked for anything more. He missed this; missed him more than anything in the world. 

“Brendon.” Ryan muttered again much loudly as he trailed kisses, gentle kisses down his neck again. He was too caught up in the moment to realize Ryan’s body tense as he gripped his hair, roughly pulling Brendon’s head to the side and exposing his neck. Teeth sank into his flesh. The pain was the only thing snapping Brendon back to reality. 

He screamed as loud as he could, but began to choke on his own blood as the monster on top of him ripped at his throat. His hands flew up to the hashing wound, holding down on it even when he knew it was too late. Brendon met those same red eyes and Ryan pulled away and smiled down at him. 

He began to feel faint, he was losing his grip on consciousness. This was it. Brendon had messed up, and now he was paying with his life. 

But this wasn’t Ryan, and he never regretted Ryan. Even with this monster. 

“Ryan won't miss you.” The other whispered in his ear. 

It was the last thing Brendon heard before his eyes fluttered shut, and he let the cold darkness embrace him. 

‘It’s okay. At least I loved more.’

**Author's Note:**

> Uhm yeah so like leave feedback or anything please thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed! Also if there were any mistakes I'm sorry just let me know~


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